'The Time Travellers' Guide to Total Chaos' or 'Harry, Sandy and the Zandron' by Len Cooke

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For Detective Inspector Harry Wilding, his latest assignment, that of escorting an asylum-seeking alien from another planet, begins in chaos and subsequent events make it seem that life is set to continue that way.

First, he has to endure the humiliation of finding himself the intellectual inferior of Sandy, the alien. A strange and beautiful woman possessing telepathic powers who hails from another world, set in a distant galaxy. Sandy, who, after travelling to Earth, in her quest for sanctuary in England, has given herself up to the local Police. Her implausible story arouses the interest of MI5’s Extra Terrestrial Section and Harry’s job is to escort her to London to allow them to interview her. Thinking Sandy to be nothing other than a ‘nutter’, their journey begins. However, they have barely started their journey when the paranoid alien senses that a broken-down lorry, blocking the road ahead of them, is actually a hologram, a trap set by her enemies. As such she encourages Harry to drive straight for the vehicle at high-speed.

Chapter 2 begins with Harry recovering in hospital where he quickly learns that agents from Sandy’s native planet are on Earth and hunting for her. His UK Government bosses tell him to find a safe house, which he does, but the alien agents soon pay them a visit and capture them. The rulers of Dronos have threatened the whole of planet Earth with extinction if they do not cooperate in finding Sandy. After poisoning their captors with orange juice, (Dronosians are allergic to it) numerous hilarious adventures follow. These include being arrested as spies in wartime Britain, escaping a barbecuing by cannibalistic mutants in a time-limbo called Treblos and Harry discovering what it is like to be a male sex slave in 11000AD. Finally, they both end up taking part in a life or death quiz game in the 22nd century where failure to win means certain death by public execution.

If you like wacky, you will positively love this.

About Len Cooke

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Published May 17, 2011 by Red Panda Press. 189 pages
Genres: Humor & Entertainment, Science Fiction & Fantasy, Literature & Fiction. Fiction