A new twist on the tired old undead myth. Vampire humor. Romance. Taquitos! Fat Vampire has it all. What if, when you became a vampire, you were frozen in your same body forever?
When overweight treadmill salesman Reginald Baskin finally meets a co-worker who doesn't make fun of him, it's just his own bad luck that tech guy Maurice turns out to be a two thousand-year-old vampire.
And when Maurice turns Reginald to save his life, it's just Reginald's own further bad luck that he wakes up to discover he's become the slowest, weakest, most out-of-shape vampire ever born, doomed to "heal" to his corpulent self for all of eternity.
As Reginald struggles with the downsides of being a fat vampire -- too slow to catch people to feed on, mocked by those he tries to glamour, assaulted by his intended prey and left for undead -- he discovers in himself rare powers that few vampires have... and just in time too, because the Vampire Council might just want his head for being an inferior representative of their race.
Fat Vampire is the story of an unlikely hero who, after having an imperfect eternity shoved into his grease-stained hands, must learn to turn the afterlife's lemons into tasty lemon danishes.
PRAISE FOR FAT VAMPIRE
"Truly original and a very fun, witty take on the "done to death" vampire story."
"If Eric Northman ever gets staked, Reginald Baskin will be my new favorite vampire."
"Got the book just before bed... Next thing I knew it was the wee hours of the night... It was impossible to put down."
It's time to redefine horror novellas and free vampire books! Fat Vampire is equal parts satire, horror, and adventure. Unbuckle your belt and have your fill!
About Johnny B. Truant
See more books from this Author
Published September 29, 2012
by Sterling & Stone.
Humor & Entertainment, Horror, Literature & Fiction, Mystery, Thriller & Suspense.