Fat White Vampire Blues by Andrew Fox

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Jules Duchon was a real New Orleans vampire. Born and bred in the working-class Ninth Ward, bitten and smitten with the Big Easy. Driving through the French Quarter, stuck in a row of bumper-to-bumper cars that crept along Decatur Street like a caravan of bone-weary camels, Jules Duchon barely fit behind the steering wheel of his very big Cadillac taxicab. Even with the seat pushed all the way back.

Damn, he was hungry.

Jules stopped his cab, pressed the wobbly rocker switch that jerked the electric windows reluctantly to life, and stuck his head into the humid night air. “Hey, baby. You interested in some dinner?”

–from Fat White Vampire Blues

Vampire, nosferatu, creature of the night–whatever you call him–Jules Duchon has lived (so to speak) in New Orleans far longer than there have been drunk coeds on Bourbon Street. Weighing in at a whopping four hundred and fifty pounds, swelled up on the sweet, rich blood of people who consume the fattiest diet in the world, Jules is thankful he can’t see his reflection in a mirror. When he turns into a bat, he can’t get his big ol’ butt off the ground.

What’s worse, after more than a century of being undead, he’s watched his neighborhood truly go to hell–and now, a new vampire is looking to drive him out altogether. See, Jules had always been an equal opportunity kind of vampire. And while he would admit that the blood of a black woman is sweeter than the blood of a white man, Jules never drank more than his fair share of either. Enter Malice X . Young, cocky, and black, Malice warns Jules that his days of feasting on sisters and brothers are over. He tells Jules he’d better confine himself to white victims–or else face the consequences. And then, just to prove he isn’t kidding, Malice burns Jules’s house to the ground.

With the help of Maureen, the morbidly obese, stripper-vampire who made him, and Doodlebug, an undead cross-dresser who (literally) flies in from the coast– Jules must find a way to contend with the hurdles that life throws at him . . . without getting a stake through the heart. It’s enough to give a man the blues.

From the Trade Paperback edition.

About Andrew Fox

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Andrew Fox lives in New Orleans, where he has worked as manager of the Louisiana Commodity Supplemental Food Program, a federally-funded monthly nutrition program for low-income senior citizens. This is his first novel.
Published July 1, 2003 by Ballantine Books. 352 pages
Genres: Science Fiction & Fantasy, Horror, Young Adult, Literature & Fiction. Fiction

Unrated Critic Reviews for Fat White Vampire Blues

Kirkus Reviews

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Having blown himself into 187 white rats at the end of Fat White Vampire Blues (2003), New Orleans vampire Jules Duchon is gathered by his friend Doodlebug Richelieu and reassembled (mostly;

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Publishers Weekly

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Jules turns to Maureen, the super-sized stripper who "made" him for help, and Mo eventually calls on Jules's ex-buddy Doodlebug ("D.B.") for more aid.

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In Andrew Fox's hilarious first novel Fat White Vampire Blues, he has created an Ignatius Reilly (A Confederacy of Dunces) of the undead, and as in John Kennedy Toole's famous novel Fox takes full advantage of the exotic and eccentric nature of New Orleans.

Jun 26 2004 | Read Full Review of Fat White Vampire Blues


(Spoiler Alert: skip this paragraph if you don't want to know the ending) Jules readily identifies murder and disfigurement as evil when practiced by strangers or those he already hates, but when he suspects a close friend and mentor may have murdered and disfigured the young vampires he is suppo...

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Jules Duchon spent much of his 100 plus years as a vampire seeking solace in escapist fantasy.

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In contrast, Fox decided to embrace the vampire myths and powers of the vampire lore in 1930's movies and pulp fiction and in the words of that great poet Huey Lewis, "It's hip to be square."

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Unfortunately, a new ‘young’ black vampire named Malice X has decided Jules should get out of New Orleans, Jules doesn’t take to well to this, even after his house is burned down and he is attacked numerous times.

Aug 10 2004 | Read Full Review of Fat White Vampire Blues

Shiny Book Review

Anne Rice and Stephanie Meyer has pretty much ruined the public image of a vampire (gone is the terrifying aspect of death, replaced by the… whiny bitch of a vampire), but Andrew Fox stays true to the lore with the nearly pathetic Jules.

Mar 08 2011 | Read Full Review of Fat White Vampire Blues

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