Flying Starfish of Death by Barton Grover Howe
A Beach Slapped Humor Collection (2008)

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Synopsis

One flying starfish of death and life on the beach has never been the same; Barton Grover Howe can prove it. The beginning of his weekly need to leave Americans “Beach Slapped,” in his newspaper column, he’s got all the stories of life in the Pacific Northwest that matter. His wife’s crazed driving habits (“She’s from New Jersey, where cussing out the guy next to you isn’t so much rude as it is a preemptive strike.”); tips for getting through airport screening during the busy holiday season (“Nothing says you’re not an Islamic Fundamentalist terrorist like carrying a 12-pound honey-glazed pile of pig meat onto the plane.”); and questioning the methods of sanctimonious supermarket environmentalists (“Where do they take their cloth bags from the store? Their cars. If they were serious they’d be going home on a llama.”). So join Amazon.com best-selling author Barton Grover Howe as he tells the real-life story of the world’s first homicidal starfish … and just gets funnier from there.
 

About Barton Grover Howe

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Barton Grover Howe resides in the only small town on the Oregon coast that has seven miles of coastline and not one boat dock. A high school teacher, his students don't find him near as funny as he thinks they should - much like their parents, who use teacher conferences to tell him they have no idea what he's talking about half the time in his weekly humor column. On the plus side, he is married to the most patient woman on Earth and is father to the cutest daughter in the universe, who got all of her looks from her mother.In addition to writing a weekly humor column, Barton is also an Amazon Top 10 best-selling novelist, bringing his weird sense of humor to tell the stories of Surfland, Oregon. The fictional home for the wet and weird, his first novel, "Beach Slapped" takes readers on an adventure that's been called by reviewers a "well written, tightly plotted romp.""Move over Carl Hiaasen, Tim Dorsey, Dave Barry and all the other Florida humor satire writers. There's a new voice and a very accomplished one... Howe does for the Oregon Coast what Hiaasen and the others have done for Florida.
 
Published November 18, 2011 by Flying Starfish Press. 176 pages
Genres: Humor & Entertainment. Non-fiction

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