"God: Is the microphone on…Testing, testing
one, two, and three…Alright! So how about those gas
prices huh!...Five dollars a gallon! Isn’t that ridiculous?!
Maybe if it was Five dollars a keg; people would be a
little less angry. And you can only imagine how much
it cost me every day; to travel from Heaven to earth,
and the mileage on my new van is outrageous; so I’ve
decided to walk today. Well actually I only walked
half-way…some friendly aliens saw me walking on
the side of the Milky Way; so they offered me a ride.
Speaking of aliens! Do you know why people hardly
ever see them anymore?! It’s not because they’re afraid
of us; they’re afraid of our new gas prices. I mean yeah
they may have enough gas to get here, but they may
not be able to get back. I mean after all; they only get
twenty-six light-years on the gallon. So now they’re
trying more of an eco-friendly approach. The good
news about that is you won’t have to worry about them
trying to invade the planet earth anymore. Why?! Because
they’re eco-friendly now, and lately I find myself
trying to conceal my identity from the world more
and more now; because oil owners would stop and
ask me, “How come you just won’t make more oil?”
Then I would politely respond, “How come you guys
just won’t share the oil I’ve already given you? I mean
what’s up with that?!
About Amos Reed
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Published May 10, 2012
Religion & Spirituality, Humor & Entertainment, Literature & Fiction.