I've got enough ex-Husbands (1) and ex-Fiances (3) to warrant sarky comments from my Dad about my collection of engagement rings, but instead I've got a habit of collecting useless information. I'm an avid people-watcher (but not in a creepy-spooky-call-the-men-in-white-coats-to-take-me-away-sort-of-way). I mean, I just didn't like the way my ex danced like a very dodgy version of Jimmy Somerville to whatever song was playing at the time (and I happen to like Jimmy Somerville, child of the eighties that I am!). It was just mega embarrassing to be on the dance floor with him (my ex, not Jimmy) when he was wiggling about - especially as he thought he was the dog's what sits, ugh! Anyway, it wasn't until I got the fear of the Monkey Puzzle Tree at Tulloch Castle Hotel that I thought about what sort of things gave others the heebie-jeebies. My Mum for one thought I was bonkers to be feared of a tree she quite liked and so began this collection of rantings and ravings from friends and family (a BT ad?). It was expanded along the way to include those things that also really wound people up and it ranges from normal everyday stuff to some downright batty entries! I mean; imagine having the fear of cotton wool or being annoyed by people putting their look roll on the holder the wrong way round! I've used poetic license for ideas given to me and I may or may not have embellished them ever so slightly. My personal entries and comments are in italics, which, now I come to think of it was maybe not my best idea! What if I get mushrooms though the post or a wind turbine suddenly appears in our back garden? Eeeeeeeek!
About Karen McConnachie
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Published September 21, 2009
Humor & Entertainment, Literature & Fiction.