It's Hard Not to Hate You by Valerie Frankel

No critic rating

Waiting for minimum critic reviews

See 7 Critic Reviews



From the author of THIN IS THE NEW HAPPY comes a hilarious new memoir about embracing your Inner Hater. In the midst of a health and career crisis, Valerie uncorks years of pent up rage, and discovers you don't have to be happy to be happy. You don’t have to love everyone else to like yourself. And that your Bitchy Twin might just be your funniest, most valuable and honest ally.

“The hate in you has got to come out.” After being advised to reduce stress by her doctor, humorist Valerie Frankel realized the biggest source of pressure in her life was maintaining an unflappable easing-going persona. After years of glossing over the negative, Frankel goes on a mission of emotional honesty, vowing to let herself feel and express all the toxic emotions she’d long suppressed or denied: jealousy, rage, greed, envy, impatience, regret. Frankel reveals her personal History of Hate, from mean girls in junior high, selfish boyfriends in her twenties and old professional rivals. Hate stomps through her current life, too, with snobby neighbors, rude cell phone talkers, scary doctors and helicopter moms. Regarding her husband, she asks, “How Do I Hate You? Let Me Count the Ways.” (FYI: There are three.) By the end of her authentic emotional experience, Frankel concludes that toxic emotions are actually good for you. The positive thinkers, aka, The Secret crowd, have it backwards. Trying to ward off negativity was what’d been causing Frankel’s career stagnation, as well as her health and personal problems. With the guidance of celebrity friends like Joan Rivers and psychic Mary T. Browne, Frankel now uses anger, jealousy and impatience as tools to be a better, balanced and deeper person. IT'S HARD NOT TO HATE YOU sends the message that there are no wrong emotions, only wrong ways of dealing with them.


About Valerie Frankel

See more books from this Author
Valerie Frankel received critical acclaim for her bestselling memoirs, Thin Is the New Happy and It's Hard Not to Hate You. She is the author of fifteen novels, including The Accidental Virgin, and is a journalist much in demand. Her writing has appeared in O: The Oprah Magazine, Allure, Self, Good Housekeeping and The New York Times, among others. She lives in Brooklyn Heights with her two daughters, four cats, and husband, opera singer Stephen Quint.
Published September 13, 2011 by St. Martin's Press. 253 pages
Genres: Biographies & Memoirs. Non-fiction

Unrated Critic Reviews for It's Hard Not to Hate You

Kirkus Reviews

See more reviews from this publication

“I’d say that I was generally more ‘er’ about all of my emotions,” writes Frankel, “which (bonus) made me deeper.” Though longing for the critical acclaim afforded select other members of the chick literati, the author confesses an unwillingness to dispense with her self-professed shallowness: “I...

Jul 31 2011 | Read Full Review of It's Hard Not to Hate You

Publishers Weekly

See more reviews from this publication

Since childhood, Frankel (Thin Is the New Happy) suppressed her emotions, to the detriment of her emotional and physical health.

Jun 20 2011 | Read Full Review of It's Hard Not to Hate You

BC Books

See more reviews from this publication

It's Hard Not to Hate You is a funny memoir by Valerie Frankel.

Dec 06 2011 | Read Full Review of It's Hard Not to Hate You

Book Reporter

Valerie Frankel proves that discussing hatred --- that powerful range of gut-churning emotions that includes off-shoots such as frustration, envy and disappointment --- can be both side-splitting and thought-provoking in this charming collection of essays.

Sep 29 2011 | Read Full Review of It's Hard Not to Hate You

Washington Independent Review of Books

Despite substantial success as a writer, Frankel is consumed by her own feelings of jealousy when young, first-time writers in her wider social circle reach that Holy Grail of publishing, The New York Times Best Seller List, an achievement that has, to date, eluded Frankel.

Oct 06 2011 | Read Full Review of It's Hard Not to Hate You

Portland Book Review

She also reflects on bad parenting, dieting, being “Williamsburged” by a neighbor (not as dirty as it sounds), hating your spouse, hating your friends, rude cell phone talkers, bad drivers, and the enemies list.

Apr 04 2012 | Read Full Review of It's Hard Not to Hate You

Chick Lit Central

It wasn't until she was told by her doctor that "The hate in you has got to come out," that she faced these negative feelings head-on and went on a mission of complete and total emotional honesty.

Nov 09 2012 | Read Full Review of It's Hard Not to Hate You

Reader Rating for It's Hard Not to Hate You

An aggregated and normalized score based on 74 user ratings from iDreamBooks & iTunes

Rate this book!

Add Review