Have you ever wondered how you ended up with your mate? We all have and will at some point in our relationships. You start out in a true state of grace—stupid in love as it is commonly known. All your married friends look at the two of you with either disgust or true heartfelt pity. They know what's in store. You evolve to the inevitable: Moving-in-together stage or marriage.
This is the time that yours and hers become ours. The old torn football jersey with unidentified food particles embedded in it falls from “that's so cute” to “when are you going to throw that piece of plague ridden cloth away?” She no longer cares that this is the jersey in which you scored your first touchdown, at seven, with an incredible one-handed catch. And she no longer likes your chair. The very chair that she used to snuggle in with you. Now it smells like your dog.
You start to evaluate her goods. Stuffed bears from when she could only drool take up your space in the bedroom closet. Her many, many clothes invade every available space in the apartment. Ugh Oh. Time to get married and buy a house.
The next phase is that adjustment period after a few years of marriage—“I never had to put the seat down when we were dating!”
Next you evolve into the “Do I like you” period. This is the troubling time for both parties—if you're wondering, so are they.
Finally comes one of two closures. You either opt for the divorce or the resignation to your lot in life. Watching old couples reveals the way that couples can stay together and have a long commitment to each other. They usually ignore each other except in important matters such as dinner or when the grandchildren visit.
As the initial tremors of being in love shift into comfort or seeing the person as they really are, many people confuse this with loss of love and throw out the old and start the search for the new. Many times I think that many of us no longer understand the truth of commitment— something that was promised and should be stuck to as the ultimate commitment. Unfortunately, there are times, that no resolution, other than divorce can heal the wounds and erase the misery.
The problem is that our children are taught through our actions. They have learned that if it doesn't work to your satisfaction and expectations on a consistent basis, get a new one. No matter what was promised or sworn you can say that things change. Just trade it in on a different model. Newer is always better for awhile.
Finally the brass trim becomes tarnished or worn with age. We start to believe the commercials that tell us we deserve better. We should belong to another generation. We deserve what is rightfully ours— instant and consistent gratification. It can be too difficult to work for something other than a promotion.
We can no longer look into a mirror without the nagging remorse in our morals, ethics or standards. Maybe we never want to admit that the only problem is in ourselves, or in the inability of our spouse to do the same.
A person can never change another without causing resentment unless that person is ready to change. We can only ask of another what we would ask of ourselves.
To truly craft anything that is handmade, it requires time and dedication. The result will always be what you put into the task. There will be slight imperfections and at times a mistake that to some would destroy the end product. A true craftsman will mold or carve it into something a little different and just as beautiful. That is why the term is known as a craft.
About Mike Sopranik
See more books from this Author
Published November 12, 2010
Humor & Entertainment, Religion & Spirituality, Biographies & Memoirs, Health, Fitness & Dieting, Self Help.