Nightlight by The Harvard Lampoon
A Parody

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About three things I was absolutely certain. First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe. Second, there was a vampire part of him–which I assumed was wildly out of his control–that wanted me dead. And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he had kissed me.

And thus Belle Goose falls in love with the mysterious and sparkly Edwart Mullen in the Harvard Lampoon’s hilarious send-up of Twilight.

Pale and klutzy, Belle arrives in Switchblade, Oregon looking for adventure, or at least an undead classmate. She soon discovers Edwart, a super-hot computer nerd with zero interest in girls. After witnessing a number of strange events–Edwart leaves his tater tots untouched at lunch! Edwart saves her from a flying snowball!–Belle has a dramatic revelation: Edwart is a vampire. But how can she convince Edwart to bite her and transform her into his eternal bride, especially when he seems to find girls so repulsive?

Complete with romance, danger, insufficient parental guardianship, creepy stalker-like behavior, and a vampire prom, Nightlight is the uproarious tale of a vampire-obsessed girl, looking for love in all the wrong places.

From the Trade Paperback edition.

About The Harvard Lampoon

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The Harvard Lampoon debuted in February 1876 and is the world's longest continually published humor magazine. Written by seven undergraduates and modeled on Punch, the British humor magazine, the debut issue took the Harvard campus by storm. United States President Ulysses S. Grant was advised not to read the magazine, as he would be too much “in stitches” to run the government. Harvard Lampoon alumni include comedians Conan O'Brien, Andy Borowitz, Greg Daniels, Jim Downey, Al Jean, and B.J. Novak. Lampoon alumni write and have written for Saturday Night Live, The Simpsons, Futurama, Late Night with David Letterman, Seinfeld, The League, NewsRadio, The Office, 30 Rock, Parks and Recreation, and dozens of others. The Lampoon has also graduated many noted authors, such as George Plimpton, George Santayana, and John Updike.
Published October 28, 2009 by Vintage. 162 pages
Genres: Humor & Entertainment, Literature & Fiction. Non-fiction

Unrated Critic Reviews for Nightlight

BC Books

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Words to live by from a book that is a must own for any fans of Twilight, vampires, or just plain intelligent satire.

Nov 18 2009 | Read Full Review of Nightlight: A Parody

BC Books

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With the impending release of New Moon, the second installment in the wildly popular Twilight Saga series, Twilight and its sparkling vampires are on the minds of millions of fans worldwide who are literally salivating for more of their favorite romance between Edward Cullen and Bella Swan, a for...

Nov 18 2009 | Read Full Review of Nightlight: A Parody


In his mild-mannered responses to Belle, Nightlight delivers its harshest criticism of the original;

Nov 07 2009 | Read Full Review of Nightlight: A Parody

The Bookbag

Summary: A fun parody of Twilight that will be enjoyed by the original's fans and critics alike!

Nov 27 2009 | Read Full Review of Nightlight: A Parody

Tampa Bay Times

An epic klutz who regularly knocks over her classmates like bowling pins and believes everyone from the mailman to the IRS agent to the entire male population of Switchblade High is in love with her, Belle is nevertheless "in the deepest love that has ever occurred in the history of the world" wi...

Nov 20 2009 | Read Full Review of Nightlight: A Parody


Qing Han's Night Light is a very brief little film, but it possesses a lush beauty and a friendly spirit.

Jun 24 2012 | Read Full Review of Nightlight: A Parody

Knox News

A computer geek with an awful name and even worse affliction - nosebleeds - Edwart Mullen is not a vampire, much as his wannabe love interest would like to believe.

Nov 29 2009 | Read Full Review of Nightlight: A Parody

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