"This book was five years in the writing and includes over ten years
of notes written when I was drowning in the incredibly painful and
complicated morass of drug and alcohol addiction. Some of the most
powerful emotions that I, as a human being, have ever felt were recorded
on whatever paper that was around at the time. I swore to God that if I
survived and didn’t totally lose my mind like so many around me did
that I would tell anyone who would listen what it’s like to lose yourself
completely to the “demon of nothingness”, as I call it, because it has the
ability to transform all that you possess into nothing, nada, zilch, so fast
that your mind can’t process it.
There were times so depressing and painful when the thought of
living through another day was a bad option. I wrote when I went into
rehab and about what it took to find myself again. I wrote about the joy
of recovery and the fight to have it and to keep it. I also write about
hypocrisy, as I see it. While living on the “other side” of society, I was
constantly exposed to “bullshit” of every kind. You name it, I’ve heard
it, seen it, and probably done it. I’ve seen and played all the games. So
now I’m allergic and when I encounter the “bullshit” and “game” out
here, I write about it, try to expose it. Though I’m not the best Christian
in this world, I do believe in God and the church. In my deepest despair,
I not only wanted to die, I wanted my very soul to die too. I wrote about
these things too. I’ve tried to include the outlook of “live and let live”
in my poetry. Some things are whimsical, some about love, some are
political, some dead serious. All of it “my music”.
Howard R. Logan, Jr."
About Jr. Howard R. Logan
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Published April 5, 2010
Literature & Fiction.