So Now You're a Zombie by John Austin
A Handbook for the Newly Undead (Humour)

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Synopsis

Being undead can be disorienting. Your arms and other appendages tend to rot and fall off. It’s difficult to communicate with a vocabulary limited to moans and gurgles. And that smell! (Yes, it’s you.) But most of all, you must constantly find and ingest human brains. Braaaains!!!

            What’s a zombie to do?

            Thankfully, zombiologist John Austin details everything you need to know, as a newly undead soul, to hunt, fight, and feed on the living. As the first handbook written specifically for the undead, So Now You’re a Zombie explains how you ended up in this predicament, the stages of zombification, and what you need to survive in this zombiphobic world. Dozens of helpful diagrams outline attack strategies, such as the Ghoul Reach, the Flanking Zack, the Bite Hold, and the Aerial Fall, to secure your human prey. You’ll even learn how to successfully extract the living from boarded up farmhouses and broken down vehicles.

            This handbook also explores the upside of being a zombie. Gone are the burdens of employment, taxes, social networks, even basic hygiene, allowing you to focus on simple necessities in “life”: the juicy gray matter found in the skulls of the living.

 

About John Austin

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John Austin is a professional toy designer and author of Mini Weapons of Mass Destruction and So Now You're a Zombie.
 
Published October 1, 2010 by Chicago Review Press. 162 pages
Genres: Humor & Entertainment, Literature & Fiction. Non-fiction

Unrated Critic Reviews for So Now You're a Zombie

BC Books

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So Now You're a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead provides tips on what to avoid (bullets or further head trauma), what to eat and how to hunt for it among other juicy tidbits.

Oct 10 2010 | Read Full Review of So Now You're a Zombie: A Han...

New York Journal of Books

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But this is the first entry in the field that’s set up to help the apocalypse by teaching the newly zombiefied how to handle their new abilities to the best of their advantage.Set up like a textbook, So Now You’re a Zombie covers everything from a zombie’s view of history, how to identify other z...

Oct 01 2010 | Read Full Review of So Now You're a Zombie: A Han...

Gather Books

A few moments of the book were slow and contained basic knowledge any future zombie should already know, but it quickly picked back up again.

Nov 04 2010 | Read Full Review of So Now You're a Zombie: A Han...

Campus Circle

Material in the book might be too blood splattering and downright “OMG” for some, but in the end if you’ve decided to stop reading after even touching the book, the zed community has got you – and thanks you.

Nov 03 2010 | Read Full Review of So Now You're a Zombie: A Han...

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