Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage by John Gottman Ph.D.
America's Love Lab Experts Share Their Strategies for Strengthening Your Relationship

No critic rating

Waiting for minimum critic reviews

See Reader Rating


In 1994, Dr. John Gottman and his colleagues at the University of Washingto— made a startling announcement: Through scientific observation and mathematical analysis, they could predict—with more than 90 percent accuracy—whether a marriage would succeed or fail. The only thing they did not yet know was how to turn a failing marriage into a successful one, so Gottman teamed up with his clinical psychologist wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, to develop intervention methods. Now the Gottmans, together with the Love Lab research facility, have put these ideas into practice. In Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, the Gottmans share this vital information so that couples can develop the skills to turn their relationship problems around and create strong, lasting unions.

What emerged from the Gottmans’ collaboration and decades of research is a body of advice that’s based on two surprisingly simple truths: Happily married couples behave like good friends, and they handle their conflicts in gentle, positive ways. The authors offer an intimate look at ten couples who have learned to work through potentially destructive problems—extramarital affairs, workaholism, parenthood adjustments, serious illnesses, lack of intimacy—and examine what they’ve done to improve communication and get their marriages back on track.

Giving an insider’s view of the Love Lab, the Gottmans take the reader step-by-step through the couples’ conversations, before and after they are counseled. The authors also provide an analysis of the couples’ interactions, identifying their core problems and offering suggestions for resolving them. By “listening” to the discussions in this way, you will learn to detect the most common stumbling blocks of a relationship and—most important—how to avoid them.

Hundreds of thousands have seen their relationships improve thanks to the Gottmans’ work. Whether you want to make a strong relationship more fulfilling or rescue one that’s headed for disaster, Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage is essential reading.

From inside the famed Gottman Institute, aka the “Love Lab”: ten scientifically proven, practical ways to strengthen your marriage

“We don’t feel close anymore.”

“You never talk to me.”

“We only have time for the kids.”

“All you do is work.”

“You don’t care about my dreams.”

Do you recognize yourself, or your spouse, in any of these statements? If so, Dr. John Gottman and his wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, say you shouldn’t be surprised. In fact, their decades of scientific research have shown that most couples face these and other serious problems—but what the Gottmans have proven is that such difficulties don’t have to lead to a broken relationship, or even divorce.

In Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, the Gottmans provide vital tools—scientifically based and empirically verified—that you can use to regain affection and romance lost through years of ineffective communication. You’ll strengthen your relationship and make it the most fulfilling it can be.

From the Hardcover edition.

About John Gottman Ph.D.

See more books from this Author
John Gottman, Ph.D., is a New York Times bestselling author and professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington in Seattle. With his wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, he is the co-founder and co-director of the Gottman Institute, an organization that offers educational materials, therapists' and couples' workshops, and therapy to couples and families. He has published over 190 papers and is the author or coauthor of over two dozen books, including The Marriage Clinic, The Relationship Cure, and Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child. John has appeared on television programs including Good Morning America and the The Oprah Winfrey Show and has been profiled in such publications as the New York Times, Glamour, People, and Psychology Today. Educated at Juilliard and having performed with orchestras internationally, Paul Costanzo has brought the sensitivity and nuance of a classical music background to the world of voice acting for over twenty-five years. He was chosen by New York Times bestselling author Catherine Coulter to record titles in her FBI series, and AudioFile magazine has called his narration "Superb."
Published May 16, 2006 by Harmony. 288 pages
Genres: Health, Fitness & Dieting, Political & Social Sciences, Self Help, Romance, Parenting & Relationships, Professional & Technical. Non-fiction

Reader Rating for Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage

An aggregated and normalized score based on 100 user ratings from iDreamBooks & iTunes

Rate this book!

Add Review