This Book Is Full of Spiders by David Wong
Seriously, Dude, Don't Touch It

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Imagine a mentally ill narrator describing the zombie apocalypse while drunk, and the end result is unlike any other book of the genre. Seriously, dude, touch it and read it.
-The Big Story

Synopsis

Now with never before seen pages from David Wong's next book Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits.

From the writer of the cult sensation John Dies at the End comes another terrifying and hilarious tale of almost Armageddon at the hands of two hopeless heroes.



WARNING:

You may have a huge, invisible spider living in your skull. THIS IS NOT A METAPHOR.

You will dismiss this as ridiculous fear-mongering. Dismissing things as ridiculous fear-mongering is, in fact, the first symptom of parasitic spider infection -- the creature secretes a chemical into the brain to stimulate skepticism, in order to prevent you from seeking a cure. That's just as well, since the "cure" involves learning what a chainsaw tastes like.

You can't feel the spider, because it controls your nerve endings. You can't see it, because it decides what you see. You won't even feel it when it breeds. And it will breed. So what happens when your family, friends and neighbors get mind-controlling skull spiders? We're all about to find out.

Just stay calm, and remember that telling you about the spider situation is not the same as having caused it. I'm just the messenger. Even if I did sort of cause it.

Either way, I won't hold it against you if you're upset. I know that's just the spider talking.

 

About David Wong

See more books from this Author
DAVID WONG is the pseudonym of Jason Pargin, Senior Editor and columnist for humor megasite Cracked.com.
 
Published October 2, 2012 by Titan Books. 384 pages
Genres: Humor & Entertainment, Mystery, Thriller & Suspense, Horror, Literature & Fiction, Biographies & Memoirs, Science Fiction & Fantasy, Science & Math, Young Adult. Fiction
Bestseller Status:
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Peak Rank on Oct 21 2012
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Weeks as Bestseller
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Critic reviews for This Book Is Full of Spiders
All: 7 | Positive: 7 | Negative: 0

Huffington Post

Excellent
Reviewed by Jeff Ayers on Oct 01 2012

Imagine a mentally ill narrator describing the zombie apocalypse while drunk, and the end result is unlike any other book of the genre.

Read Full Review of This Book Is Full of Spiders:...

The Maine Edge

Excellent
Reviewed by Allen Adams on Oct 10 2012

“This Book is Full of Spiders” is gruesome and foul-mouthed. It is spookily unsettling and subversively funny. It is horror fiction that satirizes the genre while still maintaining a very real respect for it.

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The Big Story

Good
Reviewed by Jeff Ayers on Oct 01 2012

Imagine a mentally ill narrator describing the zombie apocalypse while drunk, and the end result is unlike any other book of the genre. Seriously, dude, touch it and read it.

Read Full Review of This Book Is Full of Spiders:...

All Things Horror

Good
Reviewed by Chris Hallock on Sep 11 2012

Wong crafts suspenseful moments to squeeze out the utmost creepiness, touching upon every imaginable fear from claustrophobia to hypodermic needles to icky multi-legged monstrosities.

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The Scribe

Good
Reviewed by Mikaila Ketcherside on Oct 29 2012

With television so dominated by post-apocalyptic shows, “Spiders” is a welcome and unique twist on a commonly used scenario.

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Into The Dark

Good
Reviewed by Kara E on Aug 07 2012

...it’s relentlessly surprising from the ground up, huge in scope and elegantly human.

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Revolution Science Fiction

Good
Reviewed by Matt Cowger

Writer Jason Pargin crafts a nice balance between horror, comedy and some real world pathos.

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Nitya 5 Sep 2013

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