This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store by A.K. Turner
Unapologetic Admissions from a Non-Contender for Mother of the Year

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Now a NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLER!

"Empty bladder before reading." -Laurie Notaro, New York Times bestselling author of We Thought You Would Be Prettier.

PUBLISHERS WEEKLY: "This sincere, laugh-out-loud confessional from Turner candidly reveals and revels in the flaws and dysfunctions of the author and her family. From family problems, breastfeeding, her experiments with pot in Mexico, and lessons learned in Russia while "major[ing] in vodka," Turner is not afraid to voice her private thoughts and never takes herself too seriously... refreshingly honest."

This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store chronicles what happens when a little girl who scorns the idea of marriage and children (in favor of becoming a stiletto-wearing, attache-carrying Secret Agent), majors in Russian, minors in Vodka, and then one day finds herself with child… and in-laws.

"Reading This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store is like going to your neighbor's house for a play date and discovering that she's just as clueless and crazy as you are." -Stacy Dymalski, Confessions of a Band Geek Mom

"A.K. Turner's witty essays explore the raw realities of raising children so they won't become serial killers, showing that it's okay to put the little darlings to bed and then guzzle a bottle of hooch. This is the perfect cross between Nora Ephron, David Sedaris and Chelsea Handler." -Elaine Ambrose, Menopause Sucks

From The Quivering Pen: This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store by A. K. Turner (Fever Streak Press): Did Erma Bombeck ever guzzle vodka? If she did, she might have come close to the ribald domestic humor in Turner's "momoir" This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store. The subtitle of the book is "Unapologetic Admissions from a Non-Contender for Mother of the Year" and Turner pulls few punches in her self-deprecating descriptions of life as an "unexpected parent." Scan the chapter titles and you'll get an idea of what's waiting for you inside: "Do as I Say, Not as I Do" and "I'm Not Having Twins, Bitch," for example.
 

About A.K. Turner

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A.K. Turner is the author of This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store, Mommy Had a Little Flask, Drinking with Dead Women Writers and Drinking with Dead Drunks. Learn more at AKTurner.com.
 
Published January 9, 2014 by Fever Streak Press. 200 pages
Genres: Humor & Entertainment. Non-fiction

Unrated Critic Reviews for This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store

Kirkus Reviews

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perhaps she’s forgotten the point she wanted to make when she writes about problem girls: “Everyone present can see that the princess is a little bitch, with the exception of the little bitch’s parents, because they are bitches themselves.” When Turner does hit the right note, she’s gut-bustingly...

Aug 28 2012 | Read Full Review of This Little Piggy Went to the...

Publishers Weekly

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The "controlling, compulsively cleaning, wine guzzling" narrator with "neurotic tendencies" explains that anyone who enters a potentially lifelong romantic relationship has made a terrible mistake "akin to jumping onto subway tracks to retrieve a fallen pen."

Oct 01 2012 | Read Full Review of This Little Piggy Went to the...

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