Is there something wrong in your relationship but you're not sure what?
Are you blamed for everything in your relationship? Does your partner lie to you a lot? Is your partner repeatedly cheating on you, despite promising faithfully not to do it again?
Do you consider that you are being taken advantage of, emotionally, mentally, physically or financially? Or maybe your relationship feels really bad but you can't understand why.
If you have had enough of being badly treated but can't seem to break away, it's possible your partner has an abnormally strong hold over you.
The information here will give you a different perspective so you can make sense of what has been happening to you. You will understand that you are not actually going mad, you don't have to put up with the poor treatment and abuse anymore and that there are things you can do to remedy the situation!
You will learn the real motivations of a person with narcissistic personality disorder and begin to understand why they do what they do and how they can be so cold and downright cruel. There are many examples of how these manipulators use narcissistic rage to maintain their ‘narcissistic supply’.
Your life revolves around them
If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, you will be forever taking care of their needs and desires and putting yourself second, if at all! You are probably walking on eggshells around them, trying to make sure they don’t lose their temper. And boy, do they have a temper!
Have you noticed that you spend less and less time with family and friends? Somehow your whole life revolves around this monster you live with. And often you are the only one who sees this. Others think your spouse is friendly, helpful, clever, kind, a marvelous husband or wife and so on. But you know this is the mask they present in public.
Your family and friends may even think that you are the mad or bad one in the relationship!
Narcissists will bleed you dry. They will take your money, your energy, your time, your emotions, your hopes and dreams, and eventually even your personality. They will break you down until you have nothing left to fight back with.
And when they fight or argue with you, it is devastating. They seem to know exactly where to attack so that it hurts you the most. And if you accuse them of doing something, they will accuse you of doing the very same thing, and you end up feeling bad and guilty about it!!
The way out
The only way out is to understand narcissist personality disorder and the manipulations they use.
This book explains the difference between healthy narcissism and malignant narcissism. It goes into detail about how and why narcissists act the way they do. And it indicates the specific areas that those with narcissistic mothers or those raised in a narcissistic family need to pay particular attention to.
Learning, for example, that narcissists will never change, they are incapable of love or caring and that they never take responsibility is a vital step in getting yourself out of the stranglehold they have on you.
Coming to the realization that this person never loved you (or the children), but rather that they tricked and deceived you for their own personal benefit is not easy. But it’s important.
It’s equally important to learn that you are not responsible for what happened. When mind control is involved, the normal rules of relationships don’t apply. None of it is your fault. Despite what the narcissist has been hammering into you, none of it is your fault. This takes time to comprehend.
What is Narcissism? A practical guide to protecting yourself is a good place to start.
About Dr. David Mc Dermott
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Published March 10, 2013
by Dr. David Mc Dermott.
Health, Fitness & Dieting, Self Help, Parenting & Relationships.